New job?

Well, nothing is going right at work as usual. Can't finish one job as there is lack materials yet again. Other job sucks and losing out money now. I contiplaited walking off the job today and just not bothering to go back. It really is that stupid, and the numbers arent adding up yet again. My crew after this next job is officially shut down and now there is only one crew.... Even for next year. Options... work for myself or find something new to do. I suppose this shouldn't surprise me at all, it seems to be an annual thing for me to do now... as it has happened every year from high school. What next... operating excavators and heavy machinery? maple reinders? some options... nothing that hooks me though. I wish I could just shoot people for a living... that sounds fun. Plus its something I'm good at (shooting things, not people as of yet, anyway). And there truly is a lot of stupid people out there... now how to get paid to do it?... hmmmm.....

we must count ourselves the lucky ones

this will take me a while
cause I miss your smile
I guess I knew your time would come
but for now, I miss your smile

trapped and enclosed... feeling very claustraphobic lately, green spandex doesn't seem to help. I need more uplifting music I think.... Maybe a cool sun lamp or something.. zoloft?... rage against the machine? hmmm.. we run away from our issues instead of facing them and fighting them through. Why did we create depression and the problems it causes? Inventing ways of taking care of them, sweeping it under the carpet and blaming it on our mother. Suck it up and feel the pain. real life. Deal with it. Stop hiding and come out and fight.
heres a pic of last years pumpkin... new will be created!
Better multitasking skills through massive caffeine consumption